Mt Pleasant News
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Neighbors Growing Together | Dec 7, 2016

A view of mother through the eyes of a second grader

By Brooks Taylor

By BROOKS TAYLOR

Mt. Pleasant News

Oops, ‘tis column time and I am not ready. In a former life, I had no problems with sitting down on a Sunday night and writing whatever came into my head (my columns ran Monday at a former newspaper).

Age, however, has a way of slowing down the process (and speeding up others) and more preparation is needed now. With a number of other things going on, the column thing didn’t even make the back burner this week so I am in a borrowing mood.

What follows is something you may have read before, but a re-read will provide a few chuckles. This stuff never gets old. It was given to me by a co-worker and is entitled “Why God Made Mothers,” or thoughts from second-grade students on the topic. The questions are followed by the students’ responses.

Why did God Make Mothers?

• She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

• Mostly to clean the house.

• To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

• He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

• Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

• God made my mom just the same like He made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

• God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.

• They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

• We’re related.

• God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mom?

• My mom and has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

• I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

• They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

• His last name.

• She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?

• Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say no to drugs and yes to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

• My dad makes the best spaghetti.

• She got too old to do anything else with him.

• My grandma said that mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the boss at your house?

• Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof ball.

• Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

• I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What’s the difference between moms and dads?

• Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.

• Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

• Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power ‘cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.

• Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

• Mothers don’t do spare time.

• To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

• On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

• Diet. You know her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

• She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.

• I’d make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.

• I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.