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Neighbors Growing Together | Dec 5, 2016

Dear Abby - Friend hurt when pals fail to say thanks

Nov 18, 2016

DEAR ABBY: I am a retired airline employee, and I get passes for my friends and family. I recently provided first-class-eligible round-trip passes from San Diego to Paris to my best friend and her friend. (The fare would have cost them thousands of dollars retail.) The only thing I asked in return was to pick me up a menu, a print or something small that could be packed easily.

They were in Paris for a month, and they totally forgot me. I am so hurt. Sometimes I want to call them and tell them how I feel. Then I think it wouldn't be a good idea. I am angry. What is the best way to handle this? -UP IN THE AIR

DEAR UP IN THE AIR: I don't blame you for being angry about the thoughtlessness and ingratitude they displayed. Your feelings are justified, and you should clear the air by explaining that you were hurt. And the next time you are asked to give them a free ride, you have every right to just say "non."

DEAR ABBY: My nine-year-old son has befriended a kid his age. The boy is nice and I don't mind him coming over. However, he has a younger brother the parents always send with him, and the boy is very hyper and aggressive. I work full time as a behavior specialist and deal with hyperactive children all day. The last thing I want when I come home is a hyper child I cannot parent.

My son recently invited his friend to sleep over, and the parents sent both boys. How do I let them know that just the older brother is welcome? -NOT WANTING TO OFFEND

DEAR NOT WANTING: The parents are using your invitations to the older boy as a baby-sitting opportunity for the younger one. Tell them you can handle only one child at a time, and to stop sending the little brother to your home unless he is specifically invited.

DEAR ABBY: I haven't found a faithful man in any of the relationships I've had in the last five years, and it has made me gun shy. Now, each time I try to date, I look for any small indication that he could be cheating, which leads to jealousy and drives men away.

How do I learn to trust again? Should I delete all social media? Should I just stop trying to date altogether? -WOUNDED IN MINNESOTA

DEAR WOUNDED: Putting ourselves out there is risky. There can be many disappointments before a person finds the right match. (Men also become frustrated and gun shy.)

Your luck might improve if you become serious less quickly and let relationships evolve without looking for commitment or signs of betrayal. If a man acts responsibly, does what he says he will and treats you with respect, give him the benefit of the doubt. If you're unable to do this, some sessions with a licensed professional counselor may help.

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