Dear Abby - Man refuses to work after accident
DEAR ABBY: My “boyfriend” and I are in our mid-40s. Three-and-a-half years ago, he was in an accident. Because our relationship seemed to be getting serious, he moved into my house. He was planning on returning to construction work a few months later. Unfortunately, his doctor said he would never be able to resume work in construction. He applied for Social Security Disability and, after two years of paperwork and waiting, he was denied.
He keeps himself busy by painting. Occasionally, he sells a few paintings online or through art shows. However, what he earns is not enough to support himself. I had to take a significant pay cut at work, and I’m having a hard time supporting us. My savings are being depleted, and my credit card balance is skyrocketing.
I have told him that he needs to get a job. He’s not totally disabled. He could work . He insists he’s going to make it big selling art. I tell him his art is not a career. I also told him that I’m going to lose my house, but he doesn’t care. He says, “Buy a smaller house.”
I tell him he has to get a job or move out, but he doesn’t do either. I’m ready to sell my house and live in a small apartment by myself. -OVER THIS IN ILLINOIS
DEAR OVER THIS: Getting this man out of your house may take the help of a lawyer. He’s an ingrate and a freeloader. Although you are having financial difficulties right now, it will be money well spent.
DEAR ABBY: I had planned to wait until my daughter was 12 to teach her about sex. Unfortunately, she was given a very graphically described education by a playmate. At the time, her playmate was in second grade. My daughter was in the third grade. I feel she was too young, and I felt robbed of an experience that should be cherished between a mother and daughter.
I strongly believe that parents should decide for themselves when to teach their kids about sex, and the kids should not have the experience forced upon them. The playmate's parents like to think of themselves as progressive and nonconformist. When I confronted the mother, she deflected by becoming offended that I would assume they weren't responsible parents. She defended her daughter by saying, "Kids will talk. I'm sure she wasn't out to ruin your daughter's world." Am I wrong to be so offended? -OFFENDED IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR OFFENDED: Yes. Kids talk, and 12 is too late for them to start learning about sex. By then, they have probably received misinformation about it from their friends. Kids are naturally curious about the world . That's why "the talk" should start as soon as a child begins asking questions. The conversation should be ongoing, with more information added in an age-appropriate way.