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Neighbors Growing Together | Jul 25, 2014

KEEPING WATCH - I WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS....

By Steve Wilson | Feb 08, 2014

Mt. Pleasant — 3/7/2014

A couple of years or so ago I attended a meeting of Democrats who quickly wrapped up the scope of their thinking on the topic of “gay marriage” by stating that people who love each other should be allowed to get married. At the time I asked what consideration they had given to the fact that homosexuality is to some variable undetermined extent contagious and what if any plans they had for containing it and countering recruitment? They offered up nothing on all counts.  No consideration of it being contagious or triggered by social pressures and no plan to contain it, understand it or treat it.

So now You tell me, if You could give your newborn a pill that would prevent the development of chemically induced or stress triggered homosexuality would You? And if your parents could have done as much for You but failed to, how do You think You would feel about that? And if You learned that contaminates in the drinking water were contributing to the confusion of the sexual identity of your children, what would You do? Those are real questions folks, the answer to which should give some direction to where we are heading.

I did not go on to ask how the Democrats were going to respond to requests for homosexual incestuous marriages and on what grounds? For the moment it appears the law is going to deny the request of a mother and daughter to get married but since the historical concerns for birth defects associated with inbreeding are moot in homosexual relationships, I am not sure why such requests would be denied. And I presume mothers and daughters do love each other. The instinctive protection against incest has not been demonstrated to be any more impermeable than the instinctive taboo against homosexuality. We are just waiting for the case where mother/daughter or brother/brother have been denied a marriage license and decided to take it to court. And they will for the same reason unrelated homosexuals have, to win the benefits of marriage that have been doled out by the state and… why not, since the benefits were arbitrarily granted to married folks and denied to others without a clearly defined justification. 

Our divorce rates show “because they love each other”, sentimentality is all too often a poor justification for marriage. We no longer know what love is. What bride and groom on their wedding day do not say they love each other? But too often that love is a flickering candle to be blown away by the roaring rush of the next flame of what they called “love” leaving their bewildered children to wonder what love is.  My grandparents were married and stayed married through hell and high water because “till death” was part of what they knew their love to be. It was something more than love today, so much more I think it might have been something else entirely.  Something stronger, bigger, braver, tougher….

I remember one night I parked the car out in front of the Methodist Church and told Joy that I did not love her any more. This was awhile before We were Married - in that same church. She just went to pieces. She looked gross. There were tears flooding out of her eyes, her lips were swelling up and snot was running out of her nose and wails and sobs were coming out of her like You might expect to hear echoing in the halls of hell. It was obvious to me that I had done something really, really horrible to another human being. I had told someone who knew what love is that I loved her like I meant it, and then told her that I no longer loved her, again, as if I meant it and she showed me that up until that moment I did not have a clue about what love is.

Like the witnesses of the crucifixion of Christ I saw for the first time what love is. But strange as it may seem, as I took Joy to her home that night I knew that I wanted to learn what love is and that I had received my first lesson from the one who has been my beloved Teacher ever since. She forgave me and she continues to forgive me. I am a slow learner.

 All the feelings have come back and many more as slowly I continue to learn just what We can make out of our love.  In our love We grow each Other and it is the boundlessness of our being that makes our love boundless.

 I learned that love is not a feeling for feelings dwell in a Man and come to pass but a Man takes his stand in his love. Yes love…  and in the loving You are sure to learn that love is a wellspring of feelings of all kinds, but love is not a feeling but a decision made with the whole of who You are. That is why they call it Holy Matrimony.  

I came away from the meeting with the Democrats thinking a whole lot more thought needed to be put into the request for homosexual marriage, and I still do.  

I think if I would have attended a meeting of Republicans I would have come away saying much the same thing, a whole lot more thought needs to be put into it. The conservative response needs to mature into the most compassionate, comprehensive and thoughtful response and there are signs that it is going to. “Dad said”, in and of itself is no longer enough. Sin is no longer meaningful in a culture where churches cover up for pedophile priests and follow lying politicians to war. No, if we are going to come out of this confusion richer for it we are going to have to answer hard questions with some authentic soul searching.  

 

3/6/2014 GAY MARRIAGE - A DEAD END

"Gay" marriage in and of itself is a dead end. A compassionate one perhaps, even one likely to contain the spread of disease, but still...  More hopeful is coupling containment (Gay marriage, restrictions on homosexual recruitment, access to counseling) with the quest for achieving the reach-out goal of a complete functional understanding of the causes and cures of the confusion of sexual orientation and/or the confused and confusing sexual behaviors of humans. 

Lacking the mastery of the mechanical and psycho/social contributors to the development of our sexual orientation and or behaviors the question of the morality of homosexuality and even prostitution is a bit premature. We need to back up and start over again.

Morality has to do with choices. We must, fearful as it may be, assure ourselves that sexual orientation is or can be a choice and then develop programs to assist those struggling with access to and/or the exercise of effective decision making. 

Empowerment proceeds morality. I do appreciate that apart from questions of orientation, homosexual and promiscuous and adulterous and violent behaviors are optional and therefore an appropriate opportunity for the exercise of moral and punitive legal decision making.   

There are indications in birds and in our prisons that stressful conditions and especially those with a significant imbalance in the gender mix, contribute to the confusion of sexual orientation. There too are apparent stages of developmental vulnerability in birds and in people. Forced marriage and prostitution in humans both take advantage of that vulnerability.

To the extent that confused sexual orientation and behaviors are or should be moral issues we must do much more to empower people so they can make clear headed and effective decisions against valid expectations.

The cry for "gay marriage" between people who say they have no choice but to be "gay" and who even ask "who would be gay by choice" must be a call to action for all us to help empower them and in the process come to a much better understanding of ourselves.  

What ever "gay marriage" is, it is not enough.

3/4/2014

GAY MARRIAGE A WELFARE SCAM?

I have encountered "gay" advocates who seem to be more concerned about access to the various benefits the state has showered on married couples than about the redefinition of marriage per se -  gay marriage is the means and access to the benefits is the end. It comes across like a welfare scam (in reverse?) where two old boys figured out that if they were married they could gain a covey of benefits. So marriage is being redefined because the state has been busy giving married people special considerations. The lesson is an old one, there is no free lunch. But "gay" marriage will not fix the problem since siblings and best friends will still be excluded. It isn't over until everyone enjoys equal access to available benefits. It begs the question, "Is the state the place to house marriage?" 

 

3/2/2014

But.... what ever the cause of confused sexual orientation, is homosexual marriage the answer? Or... Would it be better to create civil partnership contracts that in standard form do not care a feather or a fig what the consenting adult signatories are doing in their bedrooms?

Marriage does care about such stuff as incest and adultery and paternity and it should.

Marriage is concerned with larger and specific issues that may be of no concern for those who are seeking something on the order of visitation rights or the like. We apparently need civil partnerships to level the playing field with Marriage relative to certain benefits that are not specific to marriage, but do we need to redefine marriage to include same sex partnerships?

Marriage begins with the premise that a man and a woman want to be pronounced man and wife. With all due respect for needs akin to but outside of that, something else needs to be provided.

 

2/21/2014 SYMPTOMS AND CAUSES, WHO IS RESPONSIBLE? Expanded: 2/22/2014

But... I am deeply troubled now. I am thinking about the effects of man made chemicals in the environment. It appears they may make a significant contribution to the confusion of the sexual orientation of our children. (See 2/12/2014 Post below)

What if we are turning our moral indignation on the gays, who suffer symptoms in the form of confused sexual orientation, while we excuse those of us who are responsible for the myriad causes of their confusion, to include environmental contamination?

I fear that We may be in the nasty habit of excusing the empowered and punishing the burden bearers - in law enforcement, in our courts, in our prisons, in our social programs, in environmental mismanagement and in war.

So, while homosexual recruitment may be appropriately grouped with offenses such as spreading environmental toxins, homosexual marriage may need to be considered a compassionate accommodation or option for people who suffer the confusion of their sexual orientation due to a host of influences that may well implicate the society at large.  

Expanded:  2/22/2014

Mulling over the above I support redoubling our efforts to determine the causes, to facilitate the prevention and where possible to find cures for the tragic confusion of sexual orientation. In recognition that the confusion of sexual identity/orientation comes in all shades of grey care needs to be taken to prevent efforts to recruit and/or lock the young into a homosexual identity. This includes taking care that diversity programs recognize the transitory nature of confusion in youth and that they do not encourage premature assessments of locked in sexual orientation.  

Indications that homosexual recruiters in positions of authority are especially damaging to the development of the young require that we develop programs to protect and to counsel youth subject to recruitment efforts.

The wisdom of classical Christian morality that confines sex to marriage needs to be applied equally to all persons apart from questions of orientation. This gives people suffering some degree of confusion more time and some encouragement to sort things out.

 Where the confusion of sexual identity and orientation can be prevented it must be. Where it can be treated, effective treatments need to be made readily available. Where the handicap is tenacious accommodations to include marriage or the equivalent must be gracious.   

2/15/2014

But... is gay marriage  in the public interest? Is it even in the interest of gays and or persons who suffer from the effects of confused sexual identity and/or sexual orientation?

Why is there more effort being spent on gay marriage than on the prevention and treatment of confused sexual identity and orientation? Why was the use of atrazine outlawed in the EU but not in the US? Who profits by making gay marriage, rather than the chemically induced confusion of gender identity and orientation the front burner issue? Why did psychologist and psychiatrists give up on the treatment of confused sexual identity without demanding more research into the cause?  

Just how big of a problem is even short term exposure to atrazine?

“In summary, we showed that 6-day exposure to an environmentally realistic concentration of atrazine early in the life of an amphibian was associated with long-term increases in mortality from a chytrid fungus implicated in worldwide amphibian declines [11,12]. We found no evidence of recovery from this exposure, as the magnitude of the atrazine effect on Bd-induced mortality was similar whether frogs were challenged with Bd immediately after atrazine exposure or 46 days later. Hence, amphibians might need to be exposed to atrazine only briefly as larvae for atrazine to cause persistent increases in their risk of Bd-induced mortality, suggesting that the role of atrazine in amphibian declines warrants further, careful investigation.”

http://rspb.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/280/1772/20131502.full?keytype=ref&ijkey=p5V0hPFKYKZYzCD

2/15/2014

Transparency in everything but government. 

2/14/2014 I THINK ITS OVER

The writing is on the wall, marriage as we know it, as a governmental institution is unconstitutional and the public's will to amend the constitution(s) is lacking.

Contractual Marriage will be, and perhaps even should be, preserved only as it is defined by churches and individuals in private contracts subject to the laws governing such contracts.  Marriage is an option, that the two of You can freely make just as wonderful as You want it to be, both in conception and execution, but You cannot make it a governmental institution, You cannot make it the law. Our divorce rates have been screaming this for some time.  

Marriage is just what happens when a man and woman dedicated to excellence in relation to each other and their children and their grand children and their community come together and dedicate themselves to exploring the bounty of love in their abiding togetherness.  

As the destruction of marriage and family continues, keep in mind that it was not the gays who destroyed it.   Heterosexual "couples"  have made a mockery of marriage both in their togetherness and in their separation.

I have been repeatedly wounded in my life by those who made a pretense of marriage and then a mockery of it. I personally have not been wounded by persons suffering the confusion of their sexual identity and orientation but many children have been and all too often those inflicting injury upon them have found refuge in our pious institutions.

We must do all that we can to protect our children from those who would prey upon them. Joy and I agree, the first thing we must do is to protect our children from us and then from themselves and then from persons in authority and then from their peers and then from the community at large and then from the world.

We need more effective laws governing rape and molestation and much more effective treatment for the offenders and the offended alike.

Again, visit the LAMBLA web site at http://nambla.org/welcome.html  so You do not get blind sided by the next tsunami.

And visit our prisons if You want to see what happens when people fail to create functional families and the government/communities fail to maintain opportunities for all persons to be engaged in meaningful work. 

2/12/2014 SOME HISTORY ON ATRAZINE

I am gathering bits and pieces that fit roughly together but not necessarily in the order I have come upon and shared them. Therefore, when things start coming together I will do a summary.

Huffington Post First Posted: 05/08/10 06:12 AM ET

 

A coalition of communities in six Midwestern states filed a federal lawsuit Monday seeking to force the manufacturer of a widely-used herbicide to pay for its removal from drinking water.

Atrazine, a weed-killer sprayed primarily on cornfields, can run off into rivers and streams that supply municipal water systems. As the Huffington Post Investigative Fund reported in a  series of  articles last  fall, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency failed to notify the public that atrazine had been found at levels above the federal safety limit in drinking water in at least four states.  See more @:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/08/16-cities-sue-manufacture_n_490762.html#courtdoc

 

2/12/2014 FINDING THE CURE

"AHEARN: One morning when one of Hayes’ PhD students came in to feed the specimens at 7 AM she noticed some male-on-male copulation going on in a tank that had been treated with atrazine – the second most commonly used herbicide in the U.S. Once Hayes heard about this he started collecting data. He exposed some of his frogs to the same level of atrazine that the Environmental Protection Agency says is safe for drinking water, and he kept the rest of the frogs atrazine-free.

HAYES: So what you can see is that there’s a seven-fold difference in the atrazine treated animals."

And it is not only in frogs,

"AHEARN: The reproductive problems Hayes is seeing in his specimens aren’t limited to frogs. Studies on rats, reptiles and even human cells exposed to atrazine showed similar results. Recently, scientists with the U.S. Geological Survey found intersex fish in one third of the waterways they tested across the United States.

And atrazine is not the only chemical to blame for causing widespread reproductive health problems. It’s a member of a family of chemicals known as endocrine disruptors."

So might there be other problems?

"DEVORE: … the same thing (incomplete masculinization ) probably happened in the brain in the areas where there’s sexual differentiation of the brain. Now it doesn’t make a person gay, lesbian, bisexual or transsexual but it certainly makes it easier for that person to be any of those things."

So what about sexual orientation?

"So I asked Dr. Theo Colborn, who's been studying endocrine disruptors for over 30 years, if she thought our environmental exposures could be affecting our reproductive health. Or more specifically, given what we’re seeing with hypospadias, I asked her, do you think we are feminizing our baby boys?

COLBORN: I definitely do. I think there’s a certain percentage that are definitely being affected and there’s no denying it.

AHEARN: It's one thing to say that exposure to endocrine disrupting chemicals may contribute to hypospadias. It's quite another to say that a person's sexual orientation could be shaped, in part, by their environmental exposures. That, Colborn says, is an explosive issue. No one wants to touch that research."

Learn more at:

http://www.loe.org/shows/segments.html?programID=11-P13-00001&segmentID=7

2/12/2014

While minimizing the ill effects of the handicap of confused sexual orientation must be the first order of business, I hope what I have shared with You motivates all of us to support the search for the prevention, treatment, and cure for the malady.

2/11/2014

This is the mess we get into when the judicial decides to play the role of the legislative.

 "A 2012 speech by Masha Gessen, activist for the gay community, is viral across the Internet, as she states the gay marriage agenda is a lie and calls for an end to the institution of marriage and redefining the “traditional family.”

Gay pride american flag“Gay marriage is a lie,” Gessen is heard saying in the video.

“Fighting for gay marriage generally involves lying about what we’re going to do with marriage when we get there,” she added.

“It’s a no-brainer that the institution of marriage should not exist,” she said to loud applause.

“I have three kids who have five parents, more or less, and I don’t see why they shouldn’t have five parents legally… I met my new partner, and she had just had a baby, and that baby’s biological father is my brother, and my daughter’s biological father is a man who lives in Russia, and my adopted son also considers him his father. So the five parents break down into two groups of three… And really, I would like to live in a legal system that is capable of reflecting that reality, and I don’t think that’s compatible with the institution of marriage,” she said."

http://www.theglobaldispatch.com/gay-activist-masha-gessen-speech-for-viral-gay-marriage-is-a-lie-and-calls-for-end-to-marriage-58250/

 

"A 2012 video of a speech made by a gay and lesbian activist is just starting to gain some legs, and is in fact confirming what many opponents of same-sex marriage have been saying all along — that gay marriage diminishes and even destroys the concept of marriage.

Masha Gessen, author and LGBT activist, delivered her remarks almost a year ago at the Sydney Writer’s Festival while participating on a panel titled, “Why Get Married When You Can Be Happy?”

Gessen shot out of the gate by stating that “it’s a no-brainer” that gays and lesbians should be allowed to marry. But then she immediately followed this up with, “I also think equally it’s a no-brainer that the institution of marriage should not exist.”

This received prolonged, spirited applause."

SEE MORE @: http://www.bizpacreview.com/2013/04/29/lesbian-activist-says-gay-marriage-is-a-lie-to-destroy-marriage-65379

The important thing is to think about where we are heading.

Visit the site below, just so you know.

http://nambla.org/welcome.html

 

2/11/2014 CAN GAYS GO STRAIGHT?

THE SERENITY PRAYER

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

http://thevoiceforlove.com/serenity-prayer.html

Can gay men and women become heterosexual?

A controversial new study says yes — if they really want to. Critics, though, say the study's subjects may be deluding themselves and that the subject group was scientifically invalid because many of them were referred by anti-gay religious groups.

Rick McKinnon, who is openly gay and works as an editor at the weekly Seattle Gay News, is concerned the study results can be used to forward an anti-gay agenda.

"Conservative, anti-gay, anti-diversity folks are going to embrace it and they're gonna use it for their own agenda to push their point of view that, yes, you don't need equality in American society for gay people because they can change," he said. "And I think that's so bogus."

But Spitzer — who described himself as a "Jewish, atheist, secular humanist" with no axe to grind — says maybe there are gays who are happy being gay and ex-gays who are happy being straight, and that both sides deserve more respect.

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Sex/story?id=117465&page=1

It is compassionate and reasonable to build a ramp to make opportunities available to the handicapped but there is some thing disturbing about  handicapped persons discouraging research that seeks to prevent and cure the handicap.

This tendency to protect their confused sexual orientation, and even to promote it is widespread among those who identify with it calling themselves gay. I have noticed in imprinted birds that not only will the birds follow the surrogate parent, but too, some will attempt to defend the surrogate if it appears to them the parent is being threatened.

I have had imprinted geese put their lives at risk to fight a large dog that they thought was attacking me. It was a touching experience but when imprinted children protect their abusers (or their imprinting), it is tragic. If the imprinted animal, human or avian could view its imprinting objectively, then the goose would immediately see how absurd it was for them to be following me around. It appears this extreme lack of objectivity goes along with imprinting (triggered by nurture) while the capacity to be imprinted, goes with genes (nature).

Imprints can be altered and may simply run out at various points in the development of the imprinted individual in both persons with confused sexual orientation and in imprinted birds. Wood Ducks have a distinct parental imprint the effects of which are weakened at fledging to be replaced by a peer imprint. We all know that something similar happens to humans in adolescence and not surprisingly perhaps, defensive imprinted adult "gays" object to any efforts to help the kids at that time which may very well present an opportunity to correct confused sexual orientation. In other words, gays do not want other gays to get over being gay and they want new gays to feel locked in, just like a pimp seeks to lock in a vulnerable run away.

So watch to see where you can find "gay" organizations that are dedicated to helping children with confused sexual orientation  avoid becoming gay. That too would be compassionate.

 

2/10/2014

I am reading that Gandhi came to appreciate that the vital energy (the Id of Freud and kundalini  to the Hindus ) naturally flowed through our instinctive sexual responses. He became acutely aware of, and profoundly dissatisfied with, the effect these unbridled passions were having on the quality of his life. Through meditation and dedication he came to experience a growing capacity to direct the flow of this energy and thereby became able to consciously enhance and channel it, effectively transforming it (intoxicating sex and violence) into spiritual energy (sober, non-violent compassion).  Both Joy and I have had similar growing experiences spread over 40 some years of marriage and she muses, not to worry, that surely everybody does.

With perhaps too much time to watch the news and a not so mild case of late winter cabin fever I am becoming concerned with the excuses I am hearing for sexual promiscuity (adultery and divorce) and confused sexual orientation (homosexuality). Perhaps this sort of brooding is just what old people do. Still, might we all benefit from some spiritual first aid training with the emphasis on increasing our opportunities to enhance the quality of our lives and the lives of those closest to us?  To do that might we benefit from lovingly, mindfully and responsibly encouraging the transformation of instinctive energy into spiritual empowerment?  

When someone asks us, “Who are You really?” Might we better think of our empowering decisions rather than our overwhelming instincts?

 

2/8/2014

WE NEED TO SLOW DOWN AND THINK

Accounts of overall sexual contact between male inmates, which can include consensual activity and/or acts of aggression, have been found to fluctuate from 19.4% (Tewksbury, 1989b, p. 35) to more than 90% (Barnes & Teeters, 1959, P. 373(1); Wooden & Parker, 1982, p. 126).

Read more @: http://www.justdetention.org/en/academicarticles/Saum.aspx

The article above calls into question the contention that homosexuality is merely a genetic disorder that as such deserves the special considerations that compassionate people are inclined to extend to the handicapped.  Information coming out of our prisons which are overflowing with people from failed families and failing communities lead me to believe that genetic and developmental abnormalities along with social conditioning all play highly variable roles in the development of homosexual behavior and confused sexual orientation. 

Young boys who are raped suffer many of the same reactions as do young women. In the hands of skilled manipulators both girls and boys can be induced into a life of sexual promiscuity, prostitution and the confusion of their sexual identity and orientation. They can be sold a fate that sells them short.  Homosexual recruiting is real and with the blind acceptance of homosexuality as “just another option” or a “genetically determined condition” successful recruiting can be expected to increase.

The Yang and Yin of the orient as well as the information coming out of our prisons teaches us that we all may have within us the capacity to be homosexual.  The comforting idea that genes and to a far lesser extent, developmental imprinting, are the controlling factors in determining sexual orientation has been enthusiastically embraced by both those who want to believe they can’t help it and those who want to believe they could never be homosexual thus abandoning those who would like a little encouragement in taking responsibility for the mastery of their orientation and behavior.

Iowa has rushed into the legalization of homosexual marriage without due diligence and thus we have failed to consider the welfare of all our children. We too have failed to consider the implications of the current rationale in situations, such as incest, where access to marriage is also appropriately limited. Marriage is obviously not for everyone, but, short of marriage, perhaps some or even most of the special considerations given to husband and wife need to be made more widely available.

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