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Neighbors Growing Together | Oct 23, 2014

Mother knows best, I guess

Nov 01, 2013

By TRISHA PHELPS

Mt. Pleasant News

I hate to admit it, but sometimes my mother knows more than I do.

Growing up, I used to think my mother was a bitter person when it came to love and mushy romantic stuff. She and my father are married, and they never really fought, but any time I would watch a Disney movie my mother would always inform me that in real life a prince doesn’t come and sweep you off your feet like that and whisk you away to happily ever after forever and ever. Her statement always confused me.

I always thought that was mean. Of course a guy will come whisk me away and I will live happily ever after. Isn’t that what my dad did for her? Because that is just what happens, right?

Wrong.

Apparently, I am learning, relationships take work. I think that is what my mother was trying to teach me. After all if you pay attention in Disney’s “Aladdin” (my favorite Disney Princess movie) the guy pretends to be someone he is not for the entire movie, and then still expects her to want to be with him forever even after she learns he has been lying to her the whole time. In hindsight, that isn’t the kind of guy I would want to sweep me off my feet, even if he did come with a magic lamp.

As I got older I stopped watching Disney Princess movies and started watching romantic comedies. My mother kept saying, “It doesn’t happen like that. Please don’t expect that.” She also added, “Please don’t go for a guy like that, that is so cheesy.”

Did I listen? Not at first. I am, unfortunately, a hopeless romantic. And clearly my mother did not know what she was talking about. Who could argue with a multi-million dollar industry?

My mother, that’s who.

Luckily for me — and my mother’s sanity — I did learn a little from my mother’s critiques of sappy movies (and my own trial and error).

I cannot stand the Twilight movies. I’m sorry, but if there is a guy that secretly breaks into my house just to watch me sleep I think I would rather pepper spray him than fall in love with him. Edward Cullen is a creeper in my opinion.

Mom used to tell me that love changes over time. Again, I thought she was dead wrong. In my mind, once you were in love, you stayed in this happy-go-lucky little bubble where everything just goes right (if you found the right person of course).

Now that I have been dating Scott for a few years, I think I am just beginning to understand what my mom meant when I was growing up.

Watching Disney movies now with my best friend’s daughter, I find myself thinking “Whoa! What a creep! I would hate it if Scott ever treated me like that!” and then I laugh, because I sound like my mother.

I am beginning to realize that the important part of what my mom was trying to teach me about men, love and mushy stuff was what I had to learn on my own; that in a good, healthy loving relationship it isn’t going to be all sunshine and rainbows, but even when it isn’t, your other half (should) be there as your best friend.

I don’t think I know everything there is to know about love and relationships — goodness knows I am way too young and inexperienced to know much — but I have learned enough to know that maybe my mom was right all along.

Love isn’t like a Disney movie or a romantic comedy, and over time feelings can evolve which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

I guess my mother wasn’t completely wrong, but don’t let her know that.

 

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