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Neighbors Growing Together | Aug 30, 2014

Older friends sharing time are sharing kisses as well

By DEAR ABBY - Abigail Van Buren | Mar 11, 2013

DEAR ABBY: I am a semi-retired widow in my 60s. A few months ago I started spending time with a man I work with. We would see each other once or twice a month, strictly as friends. Our “dates” ended with a platonic hug.

About a month ago, a hug turned into an embrace. A week later, the embrace became a passionate kiss. Since then, whenever we get together — now once or twice a week — we spend a good portion of our time together “making out.” We love the way each other kisses.

The problem is, we’re still just friends. There is no desire on the part of either of us to take the relationship up a notch. What do we do? We should not be kissing a friend the way we do, but we can’t seem to stop.

We’re not hurting anyone. We have tried meeting only in public places, but there is still the goodnight kiss. I never thought I’d need this kind of advice at my age. Must we stop spending time together? -- FLABBERGASTED IN WISCONSIN

DEAR FLABBERGASTED: Not in my opinion. I assume you’re both eligible. This is the way relationships develop, and you would be foolish not to see where it leads. As of now, a kiss is still a kiss. Let me hear from you in a month.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing on behalf of hairstylists. We are busy people. Our time is money. We rarely even stop for lunch. Clients who come in talking on their cellphones are a real problem for us because they slow us down.

I have had clients jump up from my chair to answer their cellphone in the middle of a haircut -- hair flying everywhere. I have had to do a haircut AROUND a cellphone, with the client switching the phone from ear to ear! These are not even important calls — just casual conversations.

The lack of courtesy is ridiculous, and it seems to be getting worse. I would like people who do this to think twice before subjecting their stylist to it. They should put their phones on silent, get their hair cut or colored, and talk on their own time! -- FED UP IN NEBRASKA

DEAR FED UP: You are not helpless. This is happening because you have allowed it. If you can’t find the gumption to tell your customers you don’t want them using their cellphones while they’re in your chair, then post a sign on your mirror that reads “Cellphones Not Allowed.”

DEAR ABBY: I am a new bride. I love my husband very much, but I’ve encountered a problem I don’t know how to handle. My husband and I were together for six years before we got married and were engaged for three. We eloped to Las Vegas (it wasn’t planned) and had a “proper” celebration with friends and family later.

My husband makes comments that suggest I dragged him and tricked him into marrying me. I know he’s only kidding, but it’s very hurtful. I don’t know how to let him know his comments really hurt my feelings. It makes me feel like he’s ashamed of our marriage. -- NEWLYWED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR NEWLYWED: The squeaky wheel gets the grease. The next time your husband does it, speak up. Explain that his attempts at humor are hurtful, not to mention insulting. Ask him if he regrets marrying you. (If the answer is yes, it’s important that you know it NOW.) Clear communication is the key to a strong marriage, and so is respect for one’s partner, which he appears to be lacking.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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