Ten reasons why short is better
By STEPH TAHTINEN
Mt. Pleasant News
When my last column covering the worst things about being short printed, it was suggested to me that I write a follow-up on the best things about being short. So, I’ve spent the last few weeks developing a top 10 list. It wasn’t easy.
Maybe I’m a pessimist, or maybe it’s just human nature, but naming the negatives is so much easier than listing the positives. But, after much brainstorming and chatting with friends, I’ve come up with 10 reasons why being shorter is better
10. Guys are (usually) taller. Now, this one is not that big of a concern for me. But, my taller acquaintances have always complained about not being able to find a guy taller than them. That’s not a problem for me. I’d be hard pressed to find a guy shorter than I am.
9. Hiding. Playing hide and seek growing up, I could fit into cramped places better. Now, I can easily disappear in a crowd or hide behind clothes racks at the mall to avoid someone I don’t want to talk to. Not that I would ever do that, of course.
8. Looking younger. I’ve been told that being short makes someone look younger than they are. Although at this point in my life I’m not all that excited about this, in 10 or 20 years I’m sure I’ll be ecstatic. Then when I’m really old and wrinkly, my height will just make me look even older and more wizened, which will be really cool.
7. Seamstress skills. After years of shortening pants (among other sewing projects), I’ve developed decent seamstress skills that allow me to change or alter clothing as needed. There’s no need to spend extra money to hem my clothes. I just thread a needle and pop in a movie. This leads me to my next positive.
6. Hemming is possible. I’d rather buy pants that are too long, rather than ones that aren’t long enough. After all, material can always be taken away to make the clothes shorter. You can’t really make pants longer. Well, I guess you can, but it looks a little strange.
5. No ducking. Unlike some of my friends, I’ve never gotten a spider web caught in my hair or had a flag whip me in the face as I walked down a sidewalk. They all just pass over my head.
4. Leg room. When sitting in the back seat, I’ve usually got a good four inches between my knees and the front seat, even if the front seat is all the way back. Airplanes also leave me plenty of room, something, which I am led to understand, is not the case for everybody.
3. Longer life. Shorter people tend to live longer because, among other reasons, there’s less stress on the heart — it doesn’t need to work as hard to pump blood to the far reaches of the body. Of course, there are innumerable other factors that play a role in life, so I can’t rely on living a long life simply because I’m short.
2. I don’t want to go on rollercoasters anyway. I don’t like carnival rides. They make me sick. Being short, I have the perfect excuse — sorry, I don’t quite reach the required line. I’ll just sit here and watch as you put your life in danger.
1. Spunk. Although there’s not really any scientific proof to back this up, from what I’ve seen, short people generally make up for their height with extra spunk. I think it’s because we have the same amount of awesome in us as taller people, only it’s more compacted, making it more potent.