The worst things of being short
By STEPH TAHTINEN
Mt. Pleasant News
At only half an inch above five feet tall, I’m used to being short. For the most part, being vertically challenged doesn’t bother me. I’ve embraced it. I rarely have to duck to avoid hitting my head on something. But sometimes, there are things about being short that frustrate me.
Dear readers, I present to you the Top 10 Worst Things About Being Short.
10. Peepholes. Even on my tiptoes, I can’t see out. I keep a step stool next to my door that I can haul over to the door to see who’s standing outside. I then have to move the stool out of the way so I can open the door.
9. Puddles. When it rains and larger puddles pop up, the average person just gracefully steps over them. With my short little legs, I generally have to take a flying leap and hope for the best.
8. Taller friends in heels. My college roommate and best friend was 5’ 11” and she liked to wear heels. If I wore heels, it was fine because we were proportionately the same height. But if I wore flats, she towered over me.
7. Being used as an armrest. I had a friend in college who used to do this to me all the time because I didn’t even come up to his shoulder. We aren’t friends anymore.
6. Being told, “You’re short.” On days I’m feeling particularly short-tempered (pun intended), I’m tempted to respond with, “Thank you for pointing that out to me! I never noticed before!” But I’m generally too nice for that.
5. Store shelves. There is always that box of cereal or can of tomato paste that is just out of my reach. Yet I keep on straining and stretching, as though my arm will suddenly become elastic or grow another inch or two if I try hard enough. I usually either give up or wait for a taller person to come by and ask them to retrieve the item for me.
4. Kitchen cupboards. I generally don’t store things on the top shelf of my upper kitchen cabinet because I have to haul a chair over in order to reach them. The items I do have up there I don’t use very often, such as a Christmas tin, some paper plates or the candles and matches I have in case the power goes out. If I ever were to need them in an emergency situation, it would be quite a production trying to get them down in the dark.
3. Group photos. It’s not only a given that I’m going to be in the front, but the person with the camera usually feels the need to announce, “Short people in front!” Then there I go, walking towards the front of the group, reconfirming the fact that I am short. For once, I’d like to stand in the back of the photo. Of course, in order for that to work I’d probably have to stand on a ladder. Or stilts.
2. Capris/pants. Capris look like pants that are too short, and pants are always too long. I’ve become experienced at hemming pants. Even when I shop in the petite section, I have to take off about two or three inches.
1. Chairs. They’re almost always too high. There’s usually about four inches between my feet and the floor. My legs just kind of dangle there, so I usually start swinging them. At restaurants, this has resulted in people being kicked.